Have you ever had a period of time where your stress level was way too high? I'm betting you have!
Here's the thing about stress: We need some of it to function optimally. Not enough stress, and we become our vacation selves, creeping along, totally relaxed, saying things like, "I just can't deal with having to decide between this latte and this cappuccino." That speed is beautiful for vaca. But it's not nearly enough oomph for day-to-day life.
But on the other side is too much stress, which is, well... too much.
With stress, we are looking for Goldilocks, or that "just right" amount. Here's a great visual on the optimal stress level we need to hop out of bed, energized and ready to take on the day:
When you get to the high end of the stress continuum, you may feel anxious or irritable, or scattered and having trouble making decisions. You may get into more conflicts, or make more mistakes. Or you may have trouble sleeping, overeat, or drink more than you'd like.
The definition of "too much stress" I like best is: Not having enough resources to manage the problem you're facing.
This can look like:
Time stress: Too much to do in not enough time
Financial stress: Not having enough money to cover your costs
Emotional stress: Facing a major life challenge without enough emotional support, coping skills, or mental energy to handle it effectively
Cognitive overload: Having to make important decisions when you lack the mental bandwidth or background knowledge needed
Physical exhaustion: Your body is demanding rest and recovery but you don't have enough time to properly recharge
This year, April was a very stressful month for me. April had a sprinkle of all of it—a demanding (in a good way) work schedule, all of the regular full throttle-ness of parenting, and on top of it all, my son had health challenges that weren't clearly defined, an extended family member had a crisis, and I was spending hours each day cleaning out my basement, getting it ready for renovation.
It was too much.
Time stress meets emotional stress meets physical exhaustion.
As the month went by, I found myself getting more and more exhausted. I began thinking about the clients I've worked with who were experiencing burnout and wondering: Was I approaching burnout?
Burnout isn't an all-or-nothing category, as in "you're burnt out or you're not burnt out." Like most things in life, it's on a continuum
Burnout is caused by sustained stress over time. It's also caused by continuing to push yourself even though you know you are already depleted.
Basically, burnout is the price we pay for not stopping to rest and rejuvenate when our bodies and minds are telling us that's what we need. It's hard in today's world not to push that hard sometimes—sometimes we need to keep up the sprint even though our insides are shouting: "Enough already, I'm done!"
However, once you're in this place, you're essentially borrowing energy from tomorrow to use today. And eventually, it catches up with you.
Burnout starts with early warning signs, which means you can observe what's happening within yourself, and make a decision to interrupt the process by making time to recharge.
Early warning signs of stress, which can turn into burnout, include:
Chronic fatigue, even after resting
Trouble falling or staying asleep
Increased irritability or impatience
Difficulty focusing or making decisions
Feeling overwhelmed
Physical symptoms like muscle tension or stomach issues
Withdrawing from others
Without a break, you can continue into a more severe stage of burnout, which can include detachment and cynicism, feeling completely exhausted and depleted with nothing left to give, disconnection and disengagement, and feeling ineffective.
By the end of April, I knew I needed a break. And I needed an intentional plan to get back to feeling energized and creative.
Here's the good news: When you're feeling stressed, or you're experiencing some symptoms of burnout, you can take a step back, take note of how you are doing, and decide to take action to rejuvenate and restore.
When I saw my stress staying at "too high" for too long, I decided to push through to meet my goals, but also to set up a "stress detox" period for myself as soon as I could. I knew I needed a hard reset, which for me needed to include rest, a change of scenery, fun, novelty, and more rest.
So what can you do when you see yourself sliding into burnout or overwhelm?
Here are 5 ways to restore equilibrium, and get back to the person you know you can be:
In the short-term:
1. Clear some space in your calendar.
After you get through the "Must-Do's", take some time off to slow down. Immediate stress relief starts with your body: sleep, exercise, relaxation, and healthy food. Seeing open time and space on your calendar allows you to also calm and slow your mind.
2. Connect with the people you feel closest to.
Stress can make you feel isolated. It also skews your perceptions so you're more likely to be negative, to worry, or to ruminate. Reconnecting with people who "get you" is one of the strongest antidotes to feeling alone. And time with those folks usually leads to lots of laughing, which cleans out the psyche and the soul.
3. Engage in whatever you find restorative.
That may be time alone, or going for a hike, or engaging in a hobby. Do the things that make you feel calm and connected to yourself.
Longer-term:
4. Build in buffer.
After I got back from my stress-detox time away, I knew I needed to be intentional to stay at a more sustainable pace. I had recently talked to a leader who shared that she was flying from Australia to Austria back to the U.S. and back to Australia, all with no breathing time in between. We talked about her building buffer days in so she could rest and also enjoy some of these beautiful places she was going to.
Our conversation reminded me that I need buffer in my regular workdays too. What buffer looks like for me: blocking off time for lunch in my calendar, taking short walks during the day as "brain breaks" to replenish concentration and creativity, and breaks to do some deep breathing. Not only will buffer lower your stress, it will also increase your productivity because your mind and body will function better.
5. Address the root causes.
While you will inevitably have periods of high stress and a go-go-go pace, hopefully followed by time to rest and recharge, can you also identify larger changes you can make in your life to lower your stress overall? This could look like having a conversation at work to delegate some of your responsibilities, identify ways to strengthen your coping, or work on cultivating a more positive outlook.
There is always a path back to feeling like yourself again—it just takes recognizing where you are, trusting the wisdom to prioritize your well-being, and remembering that restoring yourself is one of the most powerful investments you can make.
